You see that evil-looking doctor in the picture? He's not even opening his eyes! He's doing what they call Sedation.

" This is done by giving you medications through an IV, which will make you drowsy and decrease any pain. You may even fall asleep, but don't expect this. Often patients don't recall having the procedure at all. This effect is known as short term amnesia, and may result from some of the medications that are used. "

I'm about to be sodemised by an Endoscope, and I probably won't recall much after the ordeal?!!? Sounds scandalous!!! And if you look at the picture carefully enough, that evil-looking doctor only has 3 fingers! And the patient has got what, 3-4 fingers?!?! Are they sure colonoscopy is for ME? A 5-fingered human being???


"Once you are sedated, assistants will closely monitor you and record your vital signs. They will also assist the doctor and give medications to make you comfortable. Your colonoscopy will be accomplished using specialized instruments. A colonoscope is a long, flexible tube with a light and lens at the tip.

You will lay comfortably on your left side facing away from the doctor as the examination begins. A brief rectal examination will be done, then the scope will be placed into your anus and moved carefully around your entire colon."


OUCH.

And why lay on my left? Why not right?! Why???!! This is not making sense.

"Sometimes it's necessary to have you change position to help the scope pass easily. You may be asked to slowly roll to one side or on to your back. Occasionally an assistant will need to apply pressure with their hands on your abdomen to help the endoscope move forward. These are normal maneuvers."


Help the endoscope MOVE FORWARD? What does that mean?!!!?! Gosh I can almost feel the endoscope knocking against the walls of my intestines.

*FAINTS*