JaYNE RulEs...!!!... the toiLEt. *

Friday, May 26, 2006

~ Cry for me. I'm losing my (anal) Virginity - The Act~

730am
2 slices of white bread with jam
2 laxative pills

8am - 1030am
Hell. I was supposed to drink 2 packets of powdery laxative dissolved in 2 litres of water within 2 hrs. That was the most horrible, grossest and gosh, most voluminous thingy I've ever drank all my life. Alec said it smelt like blood. Mum said it tasted salty and sweet. I thought it tasted like plastic and rubbery water, mixed with salt and sugar. And I had to gulp 2 whole litres of it. I swept the floor to distract myself. Then I started to lao sai for more than 20 times. After the tenth time or so, I started to pee through my anus. As in everything that gushed out was yellowish water. It was a weird feeling.

1030 am
Alec finally arrived. He was late!!! I was already down to my last half a cup by then which means that he wasn't around to offer me emotional support when I was drowning in the first 1.8litres of plastic water. I was almost in tears. But then again, it wasn't his fault that I'm perpetually constipating so I let him off. Just this once okai.

1035 am
I finished sweeping the floor. There wasn't much to do except to lao sai and read the papers. Alec ate fried bee hoon with his fave sunny-side-up and chicken wings. OK. Plastic water vs. yummy fried bee hoon. What is this man. He eats all the carbo and protein and hardly any veges and fruits. While I'm the health-freak who takes at least 4 servings of fruits and veges everyday. Plus I lug my water bottle wherever I go. And what happens? He's perpetually diarrhoaing and I'm perpetually constipating. Do theory and practice really have such vast discrepancy??!

11am
We watched the recorded Korean drama 18-yr-old Bride. So cute and sweet!

145pm
Set off to TTSH. *Nervous*

230pm
At TTSH. I lao saied another 3 times before I the act. The nurse told me it would take about 3 hrs so I told alec to go shopping. But he didn't and hung around the area. What a sweetie. Again, I must have been a benevolent merchant in my previous life. Amitabha.

3pm
In the theatre. There were about 6-7 doctors and nurses. All of them did what they had to do simultaneously and they succeeded in getting me confused. One of them cliped on the blood pressure machine onto my arms, another was setting up the machine and was plugging in this huge long thing which I believe was Mr. Endoscope, which was to be poked into my anus and would be cruising through my intestines. One of the doctors pushed the oxygen tubes into my nostrils. Damn pain can. Felt like very cold aircon blowing right into the upper part of the nostrils. Ouch. Then the lead doctor applied some alcohol on my right hand, gave me a jab, and within seconds, my world turned into darkness.

4 plus
What a good sleep. I needed that. Ouch my anus hurts. Ouch my stomache hurts. Argh I need to pee. And maybe shit. I called for the nurse but I wasn't allowed to get out of bed. So she gave me the tub. Did she expect me to pee and shit in that? Lying on the bed? I tried with all my might but I just couldn't.

5pm
Milo and wheat biscuits never tasted so good. I rushed to the toilet. And when I returned, Alec appeared! Gosh I was afraid I would suffer from amnesia and forget him. Come to think of it, I should have happily walked past him and pretended not to know him. See how he react. Ha! The nurse gave me the report on the spot. My colon is ok! Yay!!!! But did ligation so have to rest and for the first time in my life, I'm given 5 days MC. I can't mention that I drooled in case my boss reads my blog.

510pm
Went to collect medicine and the pharmacist kept staring at me as I gobbled the tuna pancake. I was hungry can. Then I started to lao sai indefinitely. Like the minute I walk out of the toilet, I needed to go back again. It was bad. My knees were soft. My anus hurt and my stomache hurt. That's it. I was permanently going to reside in the toilet at TTSH. Alec looked really helpless and after 3 times, he tried to persuade me to go to the toilet at B3. At least we could start inching towards the car. I asked if he minded if I lao saied in his car. He said he didn't. See? The power of love.

515pm
We hobbled to the foodcourt. Alec shamelessly asked the auntie from the drinks stall to help fill up my bottle with hot water. The power of love at work again. I recipocrated by wailing that the water was too hot. Alec then started to blow into the bottle. =) Now you see what I like about him? Sooo cute! But of course at that moment, I wasn't in the bestest of moods so I snapped at him and rolled my eyes and gave him the as -if-that-was-going-to-bloody-help look. I gulped down all the pills.

6pm
Fell asleep in the car. First thing I said when I woke up "I love painkillers". And alec's reply - "You don't love me anymore. You love painkillers." Aww.

730pm
Potatoes, tomatoes, carrots, vege, pork ribs and porridge. Yummy.

Did I mention that I'm still lao saiing indefinitely? Ouch.

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Friday, May 26, 2006

~ Cry for me. I'm losing my (anal) Virginity - The Act~

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